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Showing posts with label Self-Motivated Healer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Motivated Healer. Show all posts

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Theory and medical reasoning of what may have contributed to Schizophrenia


Found this article. I suffered from bulimia and anorexia for eleven years. Sometimes when I would vomit I would seen stars. That obviously meant that I had a lack of oxygen. It was bad at sometimes not hardly eating anything and feel that I was fat and throw that up too. Sometimes I probably did it about ten times a day. I once almost passed out in the shower and my limbs were tingling. I went to the urgent care and they hooked me up to a ekg. In was then told that I was low in potassium. They are saying in this article that it is tied to eating disorders and Glutamate. I used to take a lot of glutamine. Now I don't know and understand it kind of makes me feel awful that I did suffer and put myself through that for the many years that I did. If it had something to do with me getting this, here see me as an example of why you should never start vomiting or starving yourself. Seek counseling and get on a regular exercise program along with a nutrition diet. Diet is not what you do for week, month or even a year. It is a lifestyle. Believe me once you start eating clean and healthy your body won't even crave anything else or even seem pleasant. It will actually reject it.
Looking in hine sight I wish I knew then what I know now. I would rather bee that anal with keeping to my plan then keeping and making myself sick. It takes a lot of energy, sneaking around, lying to yourself and everyone else not to mention what it physically does to your body and mind. It also works on your psyche yourself worth and esteem.  It even makes you on a sense hullicinate. In a sense because you always see your body as fat. Doesn't matter how skinny you are or even bony for that matter you see yourself differently than what is real. I could give some words of wisdom that would be to never start off something bad when you want a good outcome. Below is the article if anyone is interested in reading it. It is an abstract so there is a lot of medical jargon, terminolgy and theory that may be difficult to understand. Yet if you read it you can get some what there saying and getting at. Until next time be kind to yourself.

Twenty-five Years of Glutamate in Schizophrenia: Are We There Yet?: Abstract. At present, all medications for schizophrenia function primarily by blocking dopamine D2 receptors. Over 50 years ago, the first observations were mad.


Thursday, March 10, 2022

Self Portrait

 Tonight I was playing with Picsart and I made this. I just used their drawing room then I added a photograph of myself. All it took after that was to add some fx special effects. So thats it. Kinda cool. This picture almost makes me want to cry though because it's how I feel too.



Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Picsart Competition

This is the original painting I used to create the remix. It was a lot of fun and I got to see the different ways my picture would change with the different filters and Fx. There were a lot of ladies who submitted and we were able to give three each so I don't really think my chances are that great to win. It did though take me out of my comfort zone and forced me to have enough guts and confidence in myself not to self sabatoge. Well here's to putting myself out on a limb. Which had been dificult lately because my art has been taken advantage of and there are people and businesses that are not really be all that honest and up front. I thought differently before but there are things coming to light that just are palatble. Anywho, I still love to create and the show must go on so have a great day and I get back later.



https://www.dropbox.com/s/itl64t2xmyz7lrk/Picart%20Presentation.pptx?dl=0

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

First seek to Understand than Seek to be Understood..

I was thinking about this all day. I posted it this morning after coffee. I myself do agree that in order to understand you have to be understood at least by yourself. You have to be able to communicate in a manner that is universal. Sometimes I dont quite understand myself and the crazy outlandish things I do and I do get misunderstood by people and sometimes family members. What I understood about all of this is that its alright not to understand because if I understood it in the first place we wouldn't be having this conversation. I think I can go on an on about this. Its just one of those things and phrases that keeps you in that marry go round. What came first... The chicken or the egg? LoL.
Anyhow, here is a updated picture of my paint by numbet project I just recently started. It's been about three or four days now but I"m coming along nicely. 
We are going to have to reframe it as it is a little crooked. Boyfriend is so sweet and made one for me. 
Understanding, is it comapassion and empathy with a way to relate?
Here I go again. I hope you all understand and Im sure you do. We all seek to be understood as to fit in and prosper in todays world. Let our understanding be what guides us to be understood. With that thanks for letting me share. Till next time ♡

Monday, February 28, 2022

Surprised with this win.

 




My hand at Paint by Number


This is my girafee that I just finished painting. It is a paint by number. It took me about a week. I didn't use very much water at all so the paint came out very vibrant. I just mostly used paint thinner because I thought they were oils until later I read the directions and it said to use water. That pretty much means that the paints were acrylics. I'm pretty proud of myself for finishing. I did go through some lack of patience and fustrations at times. All in all I did finish it and now I just need to get it streched and put on a frame. 
I have started a new one. It's cute with flowers and a bird.
Here's a sneak peak.
That's not the whole paiting but most of it. It's kinda cool as you grt thesr paints with numbers on them.

These are the paints. All I have to do is use them to the corresponding numbers on the canvas withought covering up the little tiny numbers. It is a task I tell you what, this has bee a  learning curve at least for me.
So, other than that my day is going swell. Going to start back on my painting now. Probably will write later on this evening. 


Pretty in Pink ( Home Design) Click to view more.

Sunday, February 27, 2022

First of many more to come. (Home Design) Click to view more.

These are some of the rooms I have done for Home Design. Some of them have a higher score than others. Sometimes my budget didn't allow for me to get all the cool items.
Hope you enjoy them.

I will post more again. These games have really jump started my creativity, focus and concentration skills. They also though keep me from writing, so I have decided to share them with you so we can go on this journey together. I will post more of these rooms as we go along. I have to catch up as there are many more to post. I'll try and give you the back story on what I was thinking about putting the room together. Sorry in advance that I dont know what the designer names are for the furniture. So far I have done pretty good though not knowing all that stuff. I'm not rich and fancy so these items are not what I see throughout my days. I'm doing my best though trying to provide a room that is suitable. You will be able to tell the difference in my rooms which ones are better than others. Why I got a higher score than another. I really don't know what they scale their scoring on. We do get to vote on one another so that's anothet element of the game. Which, that is what it is but I think some of these designers are really just that in their professional lives. Anyways hope you enjoy my work.


My First place videos on Redecor!

 







These are some of My latest first place winners.

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Just was thinking, So I'm writing.


Hi everyone, it's been a while since I have written again. I'm so terrible. So terrible that I haven't even stuck to a diet, nor have I been exercising. More like feeding my face and twiddling my thumbs. What's worse I'm sitting here telling you all this and I'm eating chocolates...LOL. 

Hope you like my picture I made it with Affinity. Thought I would put it in here instead of none at all. 

The days have been long, but the time does fly by a bit when I'm playing my interior design games, Boy am I stuck on those. Never in my right mind would I think that I would be playing them so religiously like I do. I have been posting them to my Tumblr. I guess now Tumblr is doing a thing where you can get tipped. I wish I could come up with a good idea for that. I have been a little depressed because I can't really think of anything that I'm really all that great at. Not to mention, I would like to sell something online but not too sure about what. I do have a Deviant Art account and I would love to be able to sell some of my art but in all honesty it's not all that great and nothing compared to everything else you can get there. My self-esteem has been kind of in the dumps.

We do have good news here on the home front. My boyfriend has figured out how to get the water to get pumped from the well to the house. What a relief that is as now he doesn't have to go to our friend's house to fill up the container full of water. The landlord is happy of all happy because now it has just raised his property value and it didn't cost him near what it could have. It's very interesting how he figured out how to do it. It was all mostly physics. I certainly don't understand most of it, but it makes sense to me a little when he explains it. 

Good news is the voices have been relatively low these days. It's nice when they are as it can be very dauting when they just go off all day long. My medication is working about the way it should except I have been getting dizzy quite a bit. Not so good. I did buy some more supplements and vitamins that I hope will help. I'm going to try a new multi vitamin and boost up my magnesium and vitamin B complex. I'm still drinking my shakes which I totally enjoy. That is how I make sure I get the proper amount if super foods, peptides and protein. I also did get another supplement to help with cognitive and brain function plus something to help with my progesterone levels. I was reading that if they are low, it can cause depression and also sleep issues. I do have sleep issues so I'm hoping that these vitamins will help supplement with that. I have been pre-menopausal sense I was 41. Some of that has caused a lot of other issues with me that I'm hoping I can help Aliev with my new regime. I do have to remember to take plenty of water which I forget to do. I get caught up and before you know it the day is over, and I have had little to none but coffee and my shakes. 

I have been staying to myself a lot lately which for me is good as I need that alone time to settle within myself. It gets very difficult to pay the proper attention to people and hold conversations when I'm not as centered as I should be to handle to common disturbance that they cause. Sometimes I feel like I'm all consuming, but it is kind of necessary for me to maintain my disposition and clarity. 

On another note, my cat is getting so BIG! He is so attached to me it's funny. He follows me all around the house and has to be sitting with me when I'm doing my thing. I did pick up painting in hopes to uplift my mood and concentration. It's paint by number which I have never done before. My aunt used to do them when I was a kid all the time. They do them on canvas now without the frame. It is a long process as there are so many little numbers. They give you very little paint which at first, I didn't think was going to be enough, but it was. I bought two of them and the other I think I will send to my niece as she loves to pain too. My hope is that I will be able to finish it and not give up. That is a big thing with me. I try to make sure I finish the projects I set out to do. Sometimes it takes me longer than others but for the most part I do succeed. My boyfriend wants to frame it when I'm done but we will see how it all turns out. 

Did you notice I have a new Logo? I made one before this one with a program called Affinity. It turned out all right, but I thought I would do another so that I can order some promotional items and even a t-shirt for my blog. Wouldn't that be cool? I'm the one that stands in between me being lost and confused within voices and delusions that are not so easy all the time to tell between reality and what is not. Holding true to who Iam, keeping up with my nutrition and medication and my truth helps me to differentiate and keep my sanity. That's what my logo is all about. 

Oh, I did find a group call the HVN Network, which is the Hearing Voices Network. We meet via Zoom and discuss all sorts of things. It's nice that I was able to find them. I can't really remember how I came across them as I do a lot of research. If you or anyone else is interested, please feel free to email me. 


A little funny from me.




Here's a video I made just having fun. Editing is a whole lot harder than it looks but kinda fun. I'm going to try and make some more. They were fun and it brings a little bit more entertainment. I should have made this longer...oh well, next time!

 

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Affirmations

I just subscribed to an affirmation app. Of course I'm doing the first three day trial. Sometimes I think I will like the app and then I fall short using it. I'm not as dedicated to things like that but I know it's good for me so I should make time in my schedule for it. Not like my life is all that busy anyways. 
Anyhow this app just said one that is for self care. I had never heard that term quite put like that before nor self love. I read it on Linkedin in one of the stories and they used that as a tag. So now I know but I still have a hard grasping the whole idea on how to get there and what things I should be doing. Not to mention ideas on how to procede further. This app I clicked self care and it said one that really got me. 

Make the rest of your life the best of your life. 

The reason for this is now I struggle more so than I ever have before. It's more diffucult for me to learn new things and retain information. I move a lot slower than I ever have and I have always worked my whole life and now I'm on disability. How do I sincerely start to consider the rest of my life the best? Should I just consider each day and an improvement from the next and know that I'm moving forward everyday? Is that making it the best? That's the hard part to because I'm so much further back then I was before this all happened. Maybe I should give myself a break and know that if I do my best everyday that I'm making the rest of it the best. That's probably the way I should see it. I do like that affirmation and it will remind me to think positive not just day to day but long term as well. 
One thing is for sure I need to take the time to let this sink in everyday before I move on to the next. I have a issue with paying attention to things like this. Probably because my whole life I had been so independent. I lived by myself, bought my own car, house, was working and taking care of my daughter. Today is so much different. I don't work, sold my house, and now live with my boyfriend. God bless his heart he's not a bad thing but I do depend on him more than I would like to. I don't want to be codependent. I really don't have much of a choice though in the matter but I woukd like to be more happy with myself and my life progression. You know what I mean? 
Well, I thought I would share that information with you. Oh yeah, I did buy a book about living younger as we get older. I'm going to have to add that to my schedule to. Read some of it and then I think I will write about it. Make it a combination. Read the affirmations and then read on how to stay younger. That sound  good to me. I just wander what you all do for self care and love. I hope I'm on the right track. 

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Everday, One at a time.


Its been a whirlwind. Now that the holidays are over I can focus on writing more. One thing I do have to say is my Baker's cyst went away for good. I'm so happy I was afraid it would never go away. 
I have been trying to get myself motivated to start exercising again. I do a few push ups and stomach crunchies every so often but I have been lagging on a full fledge workout on a continues basis. Its really cold here where I live right now in the mornings and at night. I just want to stay all bundled up and eat. LoL. I do gain a few pounds during the winter but my shake regime and working out, I should be doing all right. 

Definitely not where I used to be because we don't have a gym near by. Stay focused and disciplined enough to get yourself through the day and continue it on like a new lifestyle. Thats the way I do it. I won't buy food that I may be tempted to eat and I know is bad for me. Even though I do give myself a cheat day. I will only buy food for cheat day on that day. Cheat days are very important. They help replenish you and spur your body into letting go of the bad fat and taking in the good.

 We have to fool our bodies a bit when it comes to dieting. When we have cheat day we throw the body off by eating bad foods because you have been holding that back for so long while dieting. So your body has a field day and has no problem shedding that extra bad fat off.  It sounds funny but it works. You will feel skinnier sometimes after a cheat day. 
Cheat days are only once a week and you will find after a while you tend to forget about them. 
Water tastes different, the body reacts differently, and you start to form muscle which then burns that fat at a higher metabolic level.
Thats my spill on working out and dieting. I'm no doctor or specialist so all I can say is I know from personal experience and training. 
Another thing, its so boring here! I cannot express that enough. 
I know have an addiction to interior decorating apps! I have spent more money on those apps then I ever thought I would even be on the phone for that long. It has been a small fortune and don't realize it until the good ol' Bank Statement
If you haven't played the games then I say buyer beware! They have helped me though. My focus and "the voices" are a bit more in control when my energy is so focused on something else. It has also pumped up my creative juices. That's probably why I'm here writing this. Just got to pull myself away and unplug from it more often. The picture above is one of my designs I did on Home Design. The others are Design Star and Redecor. They are all fun and consuming. 
My medication is another thing. I have to take so much. Its awful to my hair and skin not to mention my weight and energy levels. 
We at the South County San Luis Obispo are still waiting for our new provider. I guess we are changing doctors. Who know well find out when they call to reschedule our appointments for December. I'm actually thinking about going to the shot. I have eight bottles of pills at one time to sort throughout the day to take. 
Oh, I did get trainers (which we call tenni shoes) to walk in and possibly run so I've got to get going on that. I have to physch myself out so I will do this. I will have t take some progress pictures and share my shake and meal ideas. Eating clean is not difficult if you prepare and stick to the game plan. Oh yeah last but not least Happy New Years.

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

Beat that Plateau with this Workout.

It's the Halo workout. You can train to be fit like the Spartans. Full body workout you can do without even leaving your home. I'm anxious to give it a go and I promise you I will most certainly be wobly the next day. I have trained and worked out for many years so I can tell you this one is challenging, even for the fittest. Go on take a gander you won't be dissappointed. Plus there are cool shots from the game. https://www.fandom.com/articles/halo-workout

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