Disability & To be Disabled

Aw ha, we are here now about to be talking about a subject way off the charts. To be disabled or not to be as a schizophrenic at 45 years of age. That there are questions within questions. What is it to be disabled? The reason why I ask is I'm going through this right now. I have filled out all the paperwork and have gone to all the doctor appointments and gave them their paperwork to sign and fill out. Who is going to make this very special decision and how? Not to mention when. I have been living like I'm homeless for I don't know for how long now. I hope the decision comes through soon so child support can get that other paperwork and that decision process rolling too. So many things at one time. Please grant me the serenity to see this through too as it shall pass as well and all will be good.

Schizophrenic, Who me but how?

Who knows how the world and God works these days. I have been asking myself this very question for almost three years now. They say from what I have been reading it happens to 1 out of every 125 people. Are you kidding me right now, I'm that person. Really?
The next thing you want to do is blame the family. LOL....right isn't that another explanation they give, it's heredity? So I look at the family and my cousin from my mother's side has it. My Uncle from my grandma had it as well. The major traumatic event sent him over the edge. My grandma was only six months pregnant with my mom when he was killed. so we were never prevea to the medical nor the family history.

Trauma, I have had my fair share of trauma with being raped and losing loved ones. Whatever the case may be the end result is now I have obstacles I would have never thought I would be challenged with.  
With that said, I have a beautiful daughter, a wonderful fiance who is my best friend and great doctor now. Getting the doctors and the right meds I believe is hard but not as hard as getting diagnosed because we know so little about it. I'm very grateful for my support teams and systems we have in place now along with communication and patience we can work through anything. The big one is the medication. Getting that on point is one of the keys to success to see this through and have a quality of life worth living and celebrating future forward with my loved ones.