Top Three Questions

As a schizophrenic, there are three questions we are constantly asked. No matter what these questions always get asked from everyone. 

1.  Are you feeling suicidal?
2.  Are you having feelings of hurting yourself or anyone else?
3. What are the "Voices" saying to you? 

If you answer yes to any of these please talk to someone or call a hotline.

Just breathe, stay calm  & know your not alone.

Am I Feeling Competent?

With All this going on I have to remind myself:

If so this is how I back it up to justify it with a list of accomplishments during the ay.

• Personal Hygiene CompletedCooked breakfast and ate
•  Cooked breakfast and ate
• Organized my clothes
• Washed dishes
• Bed made
• Colored
• Wrote on website
• Took Notes on subject stuying
• Organized paperwork and folders
• Ate dinner
• Store for snacks
• Bedtime was before midnight

With that list I can feel pretty good about my day.

AuditoryHallucinations

The overwhelming nature of it is combustive.

I never would have thought that at some point in my life I would be dealing with this. Being a busy body and always being on the go this really has taken me by surprise like a curveball. It has been very difficult and exhausting dealing with "The Voices" all day long. It's no wonder in my paperwork it advises getting as much sleep as possible. They weren't kidding. Imagine having a house full of kids all by yourself and they never go to bed or give you a break. The worst part is that most of it are just lies or my brain working off my insecurities, apprehensions, thoughts maybe I would have, I'm really not sure. They do get you all worked up and it takes a lot of myself to sort through my own thoughts versus the things my brain is trying to feed me. 
One of the worst is that it messes with my memory and how I recall what has transpired in the past. These voices get drilled in my head over and over in different ways that I get confused and misdirected. Sometimes even the stories tell me a far fetched. I do have to say some of them are good. There are voices that encourage and compliment but then there are those which lie, say mean things about others and myself. They will tell my lies even about my own fiance. It has impacted my relationship so much at certain times that we have broken up. I'm very thankful that he loves me and has stood by me knowing that it's not me to believe the crazy things they tell me, act in such irrational ways, or have psychotic breakdowns.  Not to mention talking to myself. That is the other obstacle because I can sit here and have conversations with myself all day long. In a way, it's good because it feels like I'm never alone yet it's not fair to him because then he never knows if I'm speaking to him or them. I have to catch myself sometimes because it's really easy to fall into some of the conversations my mind is having. It's like having an estranged brain. I know that sounds way far out there but it's true. I do wake up every morning hoping that they won't be there but as a loyal dog they are. they can be so mean that I will just start crying out of nowhere. It has got to take a lot of patience and understanding to be directly involved with me.