I'm having to rewrite 😕 what I had written but for some reason 🤔 it did not publish and disappeared. I'm kinda heart broken 💔 about it. So here goes.
I haven't written in a while because I have been having issues with my medication. I'm trying to not take as much as it makes for a difficult time going number two in the bathroom.TMI I understand but it is a fact of life for me. Doctor has even given me stuff to drink to make it easier because I'm suppose to go every three days at least.I'm telling you the truth when I say sometimes it not until 3 weeks to a month. I get very bloated and just feel very sluggish. That in turn makes things harder with my auditory hallucinations. I know that I should be taking all of them but I think sometimes they need to get reevaluated. My doctor appointment is coming soon so this U will have to bring up. Something that disturbed me too. I was reading on the back of my perception bag that they are monitoring my medication on how much im taking. It looked like to me that it was relating it to my lifespan and how it will effect me over time. Kinda of spooky. I know they have side effects some which I myself wish we didn't have to deal with. I was told by my doctor that some of the medication cause symptoms of cebral palzie and give you twitching or un controlled muscle movements. Kinda spooky huh? I'm already afraid of getting Demetia. Last week it was so bad I felt like U was at deaths door. You see they tell me things about a lot of subjects and some after very scary. Like about life, how I look, telling me I'm ugly, that I'm a lover and about the relationships I have and their opinion about them, and how im going to die. It really works on my nerves and self esteem. I have a hard time all over 😪trying to ignore them but it tears me down so much it feels real that what they are saying is true.
It really doesn't help too when my connection to my blog gets disconnected. My analytics get all messed up and imI feel like it is a personal attempt against me. I realize that talking and writing about my life and this topic about Schizophrenia is controversial. I do to have the freedom of speech as well as expressing myself in order to provide some therapy to my own healing. In turn hoping others can relate and maybe get some relief from it as well.
I'm very green and are still learning. With my disability it makes it tougher for me to succeed at it. Iam trying, lord knows that.
I'm very thankful 🙏 that I do have this outlet and know others are readingt it and coming back.
When it rains it pours. We were just told a week and a half ago we have to move out. Bad timing with Covid and Christmas here. So that has been stressful but we did find a place but way out of the city. My boyfriend is disabled and I have my issue so paying high rent is our of the question. I also have to quit my job as it an hour and a half now commute. I really like it there and wish I didn't have to leave. See it was through mental health. I will now hope to find another job, so fingers crossed. I wish I could make money doing this or writing ✍. Probably not though as my writing is a bit disorganized.
I do want to say that I did put up some photo freebies of stock photos if anyone wants to download. Just some that I took pictures of in San Luis Obispo downtown here in California, USA. The plant ones are from my work and the others walking around town. I do have some that I'm going to post from Cuyama.
I do have some exciting news. I have signed up for my name to go to Mars on the next trip through NASA. It's
You should go and check it out.
It's a great icebreaker and story for
the kids.
Plus, I'm sure they will want their
name to go too.
I hope everyone is doing well and
staying safe. That's it for now.
Stay tuned for more content.
