Each Mind Matters

I went to mental health today and they had these great coloring pages. Each Mind Matters from California's Mental Health Movement. What a cool thing. 

I have been coloring lots of pages recently. I post all of my pictures on Facebook. I started a group called Adult Coloringbook Colorist because I felt it would be a good idea. A lot of people like to color but not all I thought and Facebook would want us to be posting our coloring pages to the feed. So now I have these great pages to share.

Aren't they great? My meeting went well although I need to start therapy back up again. I stopped because I missed an appointment because I was sleeping. I messaged the therapist but didn't hear back from him until about a week later.Kinda weird, I thought he would of gotten back with me before then but whatever. He just called again today so I should call him back. I just feel I'm not getting all that much out of it. Just talking about my past. That's never really a thing I enjoy doing. I guess therapy isn't suppose to be all that enjoyable or is it? I don't know. I'll call him back.

Anyhow, our garden is doing quite well. We have lots of tomatoes getting bigger. Still green but they are growing quite nicely.

Tomatoes  🍅 

 The peppers and squash are too. The only ones that aren't doing so well is the watermelon.

Watermelon 🍉 

 I would of thought it could handle the heat here, but nope. The squash are getting those pretty orange yellow flowers which I'm excited about.

Squash 

I had to take pictures to show you. My fiance have our little hands full with these guys. Oh, I still have my herb garden and it's doing well except one of the sage died. I don't remember the variety it was. I had two different kinds of sage growing. 

This has brought much joy into my life. It really helps lift my mood. Just coming out on the porch  to see them all green and growing is a blessing. 

It's been so HOT here. The highest so far it reached 110°. We have a jacuzzi here so my fiance fills it up full of cold water so we can cool down thank goodness. I just have to make sure I drink plenty of water because I get such bad dizzy spells. Even it has been 88°+ at night time. Do you know how difficult it is to sleep at that temperature at night time. Not easy and I have sleeping issues anyways. I think from what I have been hearing is that the heat is all throughout the United States. Even causing storms. No good. I hope it cools down here soon. It's very draining. I tend to loose a little weight though because it's too hot to eat and I'm sweating all day. Yuck, gross huh? Thank goodness for that jacuzzi!!! 

That's all I have for now, I'll write again soon.

Coming Home.

I was having a bad day. It is amazing the transformation that can occur when you do art. It transcended me in such a better place, changed my mood and brought me back to a place where I could smile at myself in the mirror. I can't exactly remember what it was or why I was having a hard time. It just happens like that sonetimes. These colors are very soothing to me. I just kept painting withought any idea what I painting. I just let the paint flow and the emotions go. 

I shared this one on Instagram too as a lot of people who deal with mental health. 

Art for me is a must. I love it so much even though I'm not a great talent, it still helps me in so many ways. 

Today & Everyday After

I had quite the scare a few months ago. I feel into a deep depression. I didn't want to do anything and nothing appealed to me either. I wouldn't get out of bed but to use the restroom and wouldn't go anywhere not even outside my room. Because of me being that way I lost a lot of muscle. I used to be a body builder so that for me was devastating to say the least. I became a bag of bones in a body that was just an empty sack. I was so out of shape that I became out of breathe just to take a shower. Not only that. I couldn't hold up my arm long enough to brush my teeth. I had to wait and sometimes for my arm not to hurt and hold up my other arm just to brush my teeth. I was in disbelief. It scared me and I felt very ashammed of myself. Not to mention embarrassed so much I tried and hid my weakness. How could anyone dare know that about me, right?

So, after I stopped beating myself up I decided I would do something about it. I started just by trying to walk around the room and pick up after myself. That was a painful task. Again out of breathe and very weak. It took me two weeks of just doing that not to get out of breathe in the shower and a month to brush my teeth with no bother. I also then picked up my 2lb weights and began my physical therapy.

Whatever you do don't do what I did and that is step ups on a chair for butt exercises. Especially in bad shape. I got a Bakers cyst in the back of my knee. That was a little painful but most of all I had a big hard lump there. I quickly read up on it and then again began physical therapy on myself with cold compresses and pressure with a shock tied around it. I did that for three days then I decided to massage it. I was afraid it would never go away or it would have to be drained. Guess what? When I messaged it and then later stretched I felt it pop. The darn thing went back into place. Not was I relieved. I was just left with some swelling.

Now I'm so glad I was able to pull myself out of that one. No more will I let myself get that way. My hope is to keep a positive body image, strong mind set and be proactive in staying positive and physically active. I'm taking my medication and things have been getting along nice now.

~Brandy Renfrow