My walk on the pier at Pismo Beach
November 8, 2020
Physical activity is not looking good at the moment as it is blowing wind right now. Very hard and blowing pollutants too
Need to check the report again about the quality of air. So, I
will be inside. Maybe I'll just do a stretch. Depends on how many distractions I get. I really wish the gym would open.
November 13, 2020
Exercise & Whatever else.
1.went shopping today so that got me out of the house.
2. Vons took a lot longer than expected, waiting lines for the register and me being a lookie loo loo.
3. I was able to find my car.
lost the face masks I bought today. bummer because they were Christmas ones.
4. Logged in with Google Maps and fixed work location. Also did more reviews. Fourteen more points and I will be level four
I'm always trying to find my car. It's like I totally draw a blank when I come back out a store. I'm so enthralled with the excitement and then the focus that it takes can be daunting. If I don't I forget stuff, go down an isle and forget Why I went there. Sometimes, I can't make up my mind and I will go back and forth literally to what I want and what I might want to exchange it for as it being what I really wanted or want. Not to mention I'm totally talking to myself and even arguing to myself.
I do catch myself and look around hoping nobody is paying attention or even happen to notice.
It's a tough gig going to the store for me. Sometimes I even get lost in thought just driving there. Then realize what I'm doing and what I'm supposed to be doing.
so, I do like to make check lists of you will of the things I got done. My accomplishments do I don't feel so down on myself.
November 16, 2020
I downloaded this app and it says I should journal every day and do these steps as to feel better about myself. So, I'm sharing with you some of my Journaling. Not much but random day to day stuff everybody does from day to day. My guess though your days and thoughts are much more organized than mine as well you're writing and thought process to write things down are quite a bit different. Not to mention, you're probably thinking why is she writing this kind of stuff. Who cares right? Well, it's not your fault. This is my disease/ disorder. You just don't know how to relate. Someone like me would totally get it. You see.
November 16, 2020 second time today.
This is have to tell you. Oh yeah forgot to tell you what I'm talking about. The goal you have set here for reading four books. It will never happen. Not that I can't, well sorry of. Just don't have the discipline to do so. I have read too this day only one book from front to cover and that was Harry Potter, the first one. After that would be Ernest Hemingway. Didn't get all the way through but a good part of it. Lack of concentration. Been this way since I was young. I hated book reports, did them but never read any of the books. Just scanned the pages, marked down some events and then have my opinion. Plus sorted through to find the key players. Always went from the back to front, first few pages of each side then one third of the book on each side to complete it. That was basically the meat of it the "middle". Passed every time and got that gold star. Bad huh? Did better with Algebra. I also love to short read. This Bits of subjects and things I find fascinating and important. Also, terrible with TV. I find doing things for a long time in length is just a no go. I lose my interest and will look maybe that I get it but I don't and have to put keywords that were used to pull it together. That's how I did it at the bank. Most of what my lead was saying went right over my head. For the most part at first. Takes a bit more I think for me than it did for the others to gain understanding before I'm able to actually do it hands on. Those compliance tests were tricky. But I used the same concept to pass them. Some of what was told to us in briefing, that's what I call it to match concepts. The brief helped me to correlate and be able to recognize to bring it actually as a transaction. The teacher is the one that gives clue to what's important and will come up later.
Did talk to my mom today. She told me about the insurance company sending her a text. They did me too an email. No one told my homeowners insurance that I sold my house. Yikes!
We'll all is fine and will receive a small refund.
Probably and thinking I may do my car insurance with them. not sure just yet.
oh yeah back to harmony with family. Mom's not sure if she is going to do Thanksgiving dinner. Still a week yet to go so we will see. I will have to go it alone.
My feelings about family are all over the board. It is my family and a weakness for me. I can maintain but I don't know about the others primarily my sister, I would like to see my girl. I think it will be predictive of what Christmas will be like.
Mom and are ok right now. She claims she thinks of me and worries. I can understand that. She did help me with clothes to work for the bank.
My daughter well that remains to be seen to. It is being taken slow. 🐌 I think she is liking the idea that I'm here for her. My family is having difficulties relating to me as well as having to take it for what is worth and deal with it. I'm patient, they will come around all-in due time.
Really makes me sad but it took time to get to this place so I know it will take time now and maybe not at all.
Just have to well, try and bring something inside myself that is happiness. Dealing with all this mental stuff and just everything that has transpired, it is difficult.
November 17, 2020
Ok, another day. First off, I made coffee and ate cheerios for breakfast. A little hanky panky with boyfriend. Didn't take a shower but I put deodorant on and brushed my hair with my new found favorite now brush. Wearing a dress today and high heels. Sure, hope that the bottoms don't come off like the other ones In the dollar tree. That was way embarrassing! Anyhow, just need to finish my make-up, not lipstick though. No point with the mask. First, get meds, 2nd, return the dress at Marshals 3. Spend Walmart gift card $30 from NORC the Facebook survey research. We will see how this works. I still have a $10 Dollar one from the other survey. See it was a compilation of surveys and we were compensated for participating.
Guess what happen to me? I found the Salvation Army Christmas tree right there when you walk in the store. I felt like doing something nice for a child and their family. You see when we were kids, we didn't have much money and one year my mom couldn't afford to buy Christmas presents nor put a lot of food on the table. We are Indian and my mom has a number. So we went to the hall and mom got cheese, bread, milk and probably other food items. Then we were approached by some people who kindly asked us to go to the tree and pick a present. We were so surprised and did not expect that not food my mom. So, since I have a bit of money from selling my house, I felt encouraged to do for someone else who doesn't have. So I picked a ticket of the tree and it had on there the child's name, age, and what they needed as well as a wish item. It was fun to pick it out and imagine how the child would smile the parents will see and feel that people do care.
I let you in on the way I deal with things, my thought process and how it works out with the way I write think and feel. I'm fairly smart at least I would think so. I did graduate from high school, got an AA degree. Have worked many years in jobs from here to England 🇬🇧 UK. I have been married two times and have a daughter and bought and owned my own home. But now this is what I deal with and it's not being what I once was that is challenging. I hope that these writings gives you a peek hole into my lifes' day.
I hope this day treats you well. My next day will be coming soon. I just see everyday as a blessing yet a challenge. I will walk through it and have the strength to smile on as I seize my day for what it's worth. Try not to trip myself up too. Lol 😆 Bless you all. Thanks for reading and allowing me to share.
