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Half of my days lately have had me with my head down just holding my head and SCREAM I can't even explain the commotion and confusion it causes. I take my medication; I eat regularly but I do know I need to get more exercise. Being where I live there is a highway that goes through instead of a regular street in a neighborhood. The temperature is really cold and the wind burns my ears. We don't have a whole lot of room in our place to a whole lot. I do have small weights but that's just for my arms. well, enough complaining about that.
Next up, the internet has been a real subject with me. It has been so touch and go it can be very frustrating to do what I want to accomplish. They all talk about inclusion and personalized this and that but even the job placing companies are getting it wrong. I almost feel as if the are mocking me. I shouldn't feel this way but just like my family is they don't know what to say to me or even how to act so they just stay away for the most part. This Christmas I was shocked that my two sisters gave me a couple of present for me. Not to mention my mom seems to be coming to see me and call more often.
I do have to tell you it has been very difficult to pay attention not just to what Im doing but anyone no one in partcular. My medication was just raised but like I told the new doctor now, I don't think they are going to go away and I'm going to have tp deal woth this for the rest of my life. That was pretty hard to say as my days are long and I miss it being quiet. You know when you just lye still and close your eyes there is nothing but silence. You are so LUCKY because I never get that. The most I got a taste of was just a couple of times. There was no sound and I was astonished. then just only a few seconds later they were back. A lot of people kina poke fun at this and end even my boyfriend trys to make light of it but I don't think its that funny. Not when your stuck like this and knew another way of life. Not to mention all the pills I have to take and the many times they have either changed it or uped the dosage. He said to me the other day when I said I need to pick up my presciption, "When are you going to be able not to take those. All they do is throw pills and more pills at you. You could pratically start a pharmacy." He just doesn't understand that my condition is real. It's very depressing so I try to distract myself as much as possible with fun things our notable subjects.
I hope all of you are enjoying my blog. Maybe sometime you can leave me a message. I don't have any friends of my own and it gets very lonely sometimes. We don't neccesarily have to be friends but it would give me some insight on how Im being received. I do have to mention I did sign up to write for the Medium. When I write my first story I will share it with you all.
According t Google Analytics throughout the year it has made it to 25 different countries. I was very impressed to see that. I know there is a STIGMA to my condition so I do understand you not wating to be affiliated with me. Nami right now is walking in different counties. The closet to mine which is Santa Barbara is Ventura. They ask people to make a pleadge to fight STIGMA. You can find them on the internet at www.NamiVentura.com for more resources or www.Namiwalks.com for the updated event. I really wish they had one here and I thought it would be a good idea if we had one in San Luis Obispo County. It would be great as they have a lot of streets that dont get a whole lot of traffic and could possibly shut down just for that event. If you decide to go please email me and send a pic. That would be the best present ever! Just kidding but it would definetly make my day and then I WOULD SMILE. Thats saying alot because when you smile you heal yourself and it changes your physiolgy for the good. I try to smile every day even if I'm feeling down. Well I will leave you with that and everyone have a cheerful day and make someone smile.
I do have to tell you it has been very difficult to pay attention not just to what Im doing but anyone no one in partcular. My medication was just raised but like I told the new doctor now, I don't think they are going to go away and I'm going to have tp deal woth this for the rest of my life. That was pretty hard to say as my days are long and I miss it being quiet. You know when you just lye still and close your eyes there is nothing but silence. You are so LUCKY because I never get that. The most I got a taste of was just a couple of times. There was no sound and I was astonished. then just only a few seconds later they were back. A lot of people kina poke fun at this and end even my boyfriend trys to make light of it but I don't think its that funny. Not when your stuck like this and knew another way of life. Not to mention all the pills I have to take and the many times they have either changed it or uped the dosage. He said to me the other day when I said I need to pick up my presciption, "When are you going to be able not to take those. All they do is throw pills and more pills at you. You could pratically start a pharmacy." He just doesn't understand that my condition is real. It's very depressing so I try to distract myself as much as possible with fun things our notable subjects.
I hope all of you are enjoying my blog. Maybe sometime you can leave me a message. I don't have any friends of my own and it gets very lonely sometimes. We don't neccesarily have to be friends but it would give me some insight on how Im being received. I do have to mention I did sign up to write for the Medium. When I write my first story I will share it with you all.
According t Google Analytics throughout the year it has made it to 25 different countries. I was very impressed to see that. I know there is a STIGMA to my condition so I do understand you not wating to be affiliated with me. Nami right now is walking in different counties. The closet to mine which is Santa Barbara is Ventura. They ask people to make a pleadge to fight STIGMA. You can find them on the internet at www.NamiVentura.com for more resources or www.Namiwalks.com for the updated event. I really wish they had one here and I thought it would be a good idea if we had one in San Luis Obispo County. It would be great as they have a lot of streets that dont get a whole lot of traffic and could possibly shut down just for that event. If you decide to go please email me and send a pic. That would be the best present ever! Just kidding but it would definetly make my day and then I WOULD SMILE. Thats saying alot because when you smile you heal yourself and it changes your physiolgy for the good. I try to smile every day even if I'm feeling down. Well I will leave you with that and everyone have a cheerful day and make someone smile.
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